tuc-ficprompts:

malicemidnight:

sapphirebones:

jaacknasty:

Probably the best 6 seconds ever. 

i fucking lost it

fUC K

OMG IM LAUGHING SO HARD RN HIS FACE WAS ONE OF PURE TERROR OHMYGOD

(Source: fartgallery)

starkofwinterfell:

here’s what I want leaked: the names of the fucking SCUM OF THE EARTH who leak nude photos of women, the names of the human trash that share the photos after they’re leaked, and the names of the assholes who think it’s okay to rob women of their privacy for their own titillation. then I want those names DRAGGED till they’ve experienced just as much pain and humiliation as these women have to go through for doing what they want with their bodies.

nibit:

420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through

(Source: pearents)

modestmgmtofficial:

everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:

  • 5 gallons of homework
  • mouthful of lint
  • 20 degrees of facial oil
  • 7 pints of china
  • handful of fergi
  • 60 mph of dad

mintypineapple:

Beautiful.

(Source: best-of-memes)

mermaidcrew:

I am so thirsty for emotional and physical intimacy with someone 

I want to nuzzle their neck and lay entwined on my bed and lazily kiss their lips and make them food get to know every single curve and contour they have 

I want to touch someone with my finger tips and make them feel loved 

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
anatsuno:

leupagus:

riahhf:

#bigthighproblems

YOU CAN GET THEM REPAIRED THOUGH. There’s a place in NYC called Denim Therapy; I’ve had my favorite jeans fixed by them, where it was almost as big a hole as this one. They use some kind of really tough lattice-type cotton and so far (it’s been 6 months) the jeans are still perfect.
You just mail them in with a note explaining what you want fixed and they mail them back in like two weeks. It was like $15 too - SO WORTH IT since jeans are a bitch and a half to shop for.


I wish I could take advantage of this service, omg

anatsuno:

leupagus:

riahhf:

#bigthighproblems

YOU CAN GET THEM REPAIRED THOUGH. There’s a place in NYC called Denim Therapy; I’ve had my favorite jeans fixed by them, where it was almost as big a hole as this one. They use some kind of really tough lattice-type cotton and so far (it’s been 6 months) the jeans are still perfect.

You just mail them in with a note explaining what you want fixed and they mail them back in like two weeks. It was like $15 too - SO WORTH IT since jeans are a bitch and a half to shop for.

I wish I could take advantage of this service, omg

(Source: rxvhh)